What do you do if you and your husband aren’t on the same page about spending? You may love your spouse, but that doesn’t mean that you love his spending attitude. Maybe he’s a saver, and you want to enjoy your money a little. Or perhaps you’re the saver, and you struggle with his spending’s effect on your finances.
I know it must seem like my husband and I are always on the same page, but the truth is that we have our differences just like any couple. There are some times that I’m sure he wonders why I bought a particular thing while there are other times that he makes shopping decisions that I don’t understand. Fortunately, we have found a way to reconcile our differences.
Have shared goals. Although your spouse may not agree with your approach to spending, you may find that it’s much easier to agree on goals. Where do you see yourself in five years? Will you be living in the same house? Will your family be the same size? Having shared goals to refer back to will give you common perspective to use as you make spending decisions.
Explain your spending attitude. If you are a saver and your spouse is a spender (or vice versa), a little explanation may go along towards bridging the gap between your attitudes. Perhaps you want to build a larger savings account because your family always scraped by when you were a kid. Because you don’t ever want to find yourself in that same hand-to-mouth situation, having a large savings account is important to you. Explaining to your spouse the reasoning behind your spending attitudes may help him understand where you are coming from. Don’t forget, though, to give him the same chance to explain his point of view.
Agree on an independent spending limit. My husband and I have agreed on a limited amount of money that we are allowed to spend without consulting each other. Our limit is $100. If I am out shopping and find a great deal on something, he will trust my spending decision. However, if the item costs more than $100, I have promised to call him first. Our arrangement works the same way for him, too.
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Having a “money” covnversation with your spouse before marrying, or shortly thereafter, or ever, to me is imperative.
For so many, it is just a topic that “can’t” be talked about. The only time it gets mentioned is when arguments start and accusations fly about “being cheap” or “spending all the money”.
Having this conversation can make for a much happier marriage.
I read a particularly good article earlier regarding money problems between spouses. I think I agree that it is more of a symptom rather than the root cause and I would go as far as to say that everything stems from an ego contest. Numbers don’t lie and I think almost everybody (well, normal people at least) in this world agree that budgeting and saving up is important. My tip, be open to each other, tell each other the truth, compromise while abandoning any feelings of ill will and look at the numbers.