The holidays can be a time of many emotions. Happiness, stress, sadness, loneliness, and depression just to name a few. The marketing of Christmas is aimed at these emotions. Just take a look at any of the commercials on T.V. or even the ads in print. The message from all of them boils down to this “You will feel better after you buy this.” By identifying your emotions you can gain a much better handle on impulse spending.

For me, the holidays are full of an array of emotions. My children become so excited with Christmas and their enthusiasm is contagious. They look forward to the traditions, the lights, and of course, the presents on Christmas day. I really enjoy the simple but meaningful traditions that we do. I’ve written in the past that we minimize commercialism at Christmas, so it’s not that the kids get a ton of stuff on Christmas. It is more just the eager anticipation of the day.

But, I struggle with depression every Christmas. You see, my Mom passed away 13 years ago and the holidays are still hard without her. She never even got to see her grandchildren which makes me so very sad. Every time I shop or go out, I constantly see other gals with their Moms out shopping or doing things with their grandchildren and the empty spot in my heart just comes to the front. I guess I am fortunate that buying stuff when I am depressed doesn’t make me feel better. However, my sisters miss Mom during the holidays too, but they usually make themselves “feel better” by shopping and buying stuff. I think a lot of people do this as well. It can temporarily make the pain go away.

There are other emotions that I see friends and family “spending” during the holidays. I’ve seen a lot of guilt-related emotions such as “she bought me a gift, so I need to buy her one.” I used to feel this way, but eventually was able to free myself from it’s grip. There are the emotions of pride which can lead people to buy expensive gifts for others so that “they will look like they are doing well.” Really any emotion can trigger a spending spree at any time, not just during the holidays. Stressful times can be a binge waiting to happen. The lure of instant gratification can be very difficult to resist.

I’ve found that just identifying the underlying emotion helps me to deal with it. I usually need to give it a name, (i.e. I feel depressed), and then I can decide how best to help myself. Continuing to avoid the feeling usually makes it more intense. When I am feeling particularly sad about missing Mom, I try to get a little more exercise, or spend some time doing an activity that I really enjoy like reading a book or writing.