The options I am talking about?  The option of giving gifts at Christmas.  It is not mandated that everyone exchange presents, although in many families it can certainly feel that way.  Especially if it has always been this way, changing a tradition can be difficult, but not impossible to accomplish. 

We have a fairly large extended family who live out of state.  Even with using a method of drawing names out of a hat for gift giving, we would have 7 or more gifts to buy, each approximately $30.  (Because the “rules” of family gifting was that each gift would be approximately $30 in cost).  Now that added up to $210 without including shipping costs.  It was getting more stressful every year just to find the requested items, wrap them up, and ship them in time for Christmas.  I dreaded standing in line at UPS to get the packages shipped. 

We finally decided that it was our choice to participate in the family gift exchange, and we were choosing not to participate.  It didn’t mean we didn’t love our family members.  It just meant we were tired of the gift giving circus we were participating in.  The hardest part was just coming to the realization that we could say no, and finding the words to break the news to them gently.  We didn’t allow our pride to get in the way and did mention that the gift giving was a financial difficulty for us.  The family members were initially hurt (how dare we disturb a family tradition?) but eventually came to realize that we still love them, even if we do not participate in the gift exchange.  It was hard at first, mostly because it was a very old habit that had taken hold and required time to change. 

Now we send Christmas cards and family pictures to extended family members.  We feel much calmer during the holidays because we are not stressed out nor are we worrying about “how much we’re spending.”  We’re very glad that we took that big step of “opting out”.